Team Rocket and the Snow Queen
by Russian Blue Witch
Summary: A cross-over with Hans Christian Andersen's fairy tale. See my profile for the full description
1. Chapter 1

**Team Rocket and the Snow Queen**

**Part 1**

"Mother, mother, will you tell me a story?" The little boy demanded.  
>The woman on the couch turned off the news. "It's late, dear; time to go to bed."<br>"But I wanna bedtime story! WAAAAAH!" He said.  
>"All right, you thankless little brat," she said, pulling some stapled-together papers out from a huge pile of junk, "I was about to send this to my publisher anyway; I might as well use you as a guinea pig. And stop calling me mother; you're just staying for the weekend because I like your <em>real <em>mother.  
>"Anyway, on to the story." She cleared her throat several times. On the brink of starting, she became shy.<br>"All right. Well now. So then. Here we go."  
>"To say that Jessie and James were the best of friends in the whole entire world would not be an understatement. In fact, it would be an overstatement. Or rather, it would just be a lie- a downright lie.<br>"The truth was that they did not get along very well at all. They fought like a Meowth and a Snubull. Jessie was arrogant, bossy and bratty; James was wimpy, whiny, and lazy. Frankly, it was a wonder their friendship survived for as long as it did. In fact, it was entirely Jessie's grandmother's fault."  
>"Why was it her fault, mother?"<br>"I told you to stop calling me that, and I was about to explain. Be patient."  
>"Aw, I hate being patient, mother."<br>"So do I. Stop calling me that. Anyway, whenever Jessie got into a fight with James and came home in a huff, her grandmother would always cackle 'I knew you two wouldn't last long! Poor kids shouldn't rub noses with the rich!'  
>"If there was one thing Jessie loved, it was proving her grandmother wrong. So she would go back the very next day and make up with James. Their fights often seemed silly by the next day anyway."<br>"Was Jessie rich?"  
>"No, why would you think that?"<br>"Because her grandmother said something about poor kids and rich kids…"  
>"Oh, no, actually Jessie was quite poor. She barely ever had anything to eat, poor girl. At least, she wouldn't have, if it hadn't been for James… who was the sole heir to a massive fortune. His parents were so rich they could buy their own tropical island if they wanted to, and have enough left to put a theme park on top of it."<br>"Cool! Did they?"  
>"No, dear. They hated tropical islands because they were so sandy, and they hated theme parks because they were so noisy."<br>"What did they do with the money then?"  
>"They bought clothes. They spent four hours every morning choosing outfits, washing, smearing on all kinds of beauty potions and lotions, choosing jewelry- that sort of thing. Then they invited their friends over to look at them and have dinner. In their spare time, they dressed up James. They loved stuffing him into the most uncomfortable (but expensive) outfits available, turning him into a little doll to play with. Then they invited all their adult friends over to stare at him, too, but never any children. Children were so noisy and dirty and they didn't want their outfits spoiled. They were very hateable."<br>"I don't like them, mommy."  
>"And I don't like you. Don't call me that.<br>"Anyway, the only fun James ever had was when he escaped to Jessie's house. The two would play for hours. Neither had any toys- Jessie was too poor, and James' parents thought toys destroyed clothes for some reason- but they played pretending games like doctor or teacher, or gardener with the flowers in Jessie's garden in the spring. Roses were the absolute favorite flower of both of them. When it was winter they had snowball fights. It was during winter that our story truly begins. Jessie had learned from her grandmother of something called a snowman-"  
>"That's silly, mommy, everyone knows what a snowman is!"<br>"Well, Jessie didn't. She never learned to read and her only friend was James who was not allowed to read children's books about building snowmen because books had sharp corners and might rip clothes. Don't call me that. Anyway, Jessie's grandmother expressly forbid them to put something as tacky as a snowman on the lawn, so the very next day Jessie and James set to work building the tackiest snowman they could. They put balls on top of each other and dressed them up.  
>" 'It needs clothes and a face and some hair,' said Jessie. 'Should it be a boy or a girl?'<br>"And then, of course, they got into a long argument about which gender their genderless snowman should be, until finally they solved the argument because the only thing they could find that looked enough like hair was a tangle of red yarn that Jessie had knitted in her spare time, and it was very long, so they made it a girl. Then they stole one of James' mother's dresses and one of her fancy fur coats and put them on the snowwoman. Then they went inside for cocoa.  
>"But the funny thing was that when they went back outside, they couldn't find their snowwoman anymore.<br>" 'That's weird,' said Jessie. 'I don't think it could have melted in such a short time!'  
>" 'Oh <em>no<em>,' said James, turning pale. 'Mom's best dress… and her expensive fur coat… mom will _kill _me!'  
>" 'Yeah, right,' said Jessie, 'I doubt she'll even notice that it's gone; she has, what, fifty favorite dresses?'<br>" 'A hundred and five,' James said, a little doubtfully, but eventually he decided Jessie must have been right and that his mother couldn't possibly miss a single dress out of hundreds, and anyway, she had no proof that _he _had stolen the dress. Or fur coat. So he went back home that evening, where his mom was waiting for him with thunderclouds on her face.  
>" '<em>Where <em>is my favorite dress?' she demanded.  
>" 'Um, uh, um, in the closet?' James stammered.<br>" 'I saw your little grubby footprints leading into the closet! You had better not have damaged it! Now _where is it?_'  
>" 'Uh, we put it on a snowwoman and the snowwoman left!'<br>" 'You little liar!' His mother said, and she picked up a decorative pistol that was hanging on the wall, and, as James had predicted, proceeded to kill him, however she had neglected to put any bullets in the gun and James fled out the door.  
>" 'Don't come back without my dress and my fur coat!' his mother called after him.<br>"So James went out to look for the snowwoman. He spent the next few days on the street, cold and hungry, asking everyone he saw if they had seen a snowwoman walk by. Naturally, everyone he asked just laughed.  
>"But then, one day, he wandered out into the woods, hoping to find the snowwoman there. Instead, he found a wild Growlithe. He was delighted- this Growlithe had been his and Jessie's, but mostly his, until he had tried to take it home and his father had taken it away and left it in the woods. James had no idea had happened to Growlie, but it seemed happy enough- it knocked James to the ground and licked James' face with its hot pink tongue."<br>"Its tongue was hot pink?"  
>"No, its tongue was hot and pink. Don't be picky."<br>"I think it would be cooler if its tongue was hot pink. Make it hot pink."  
>"I can't make it hot pink; its tongue isn't hot pink and that's that. Shut up. Anyway, James then asked the Growlie to help him track down the snowwoman, and the Growlithe obediently picked up the scent of James' mother's dress and began to follow the trail.<br>"They were walking for quite a while, and James thought they were getting nearer Jessie's house- 'that makes sense,' he said, 'the snowwoman should be nearby'. It only just then occurred to him that he should have asked Jessie's help in the first place, which is what any intelligent person would have done. Suddenly an icy beam shot out of the woods and hit Growlie, encasing it in ice. Shocked, James ran forward, and guess what he saw?"  
>"The snowwoman!"<br>"No, a parade of pink elephants in goofy hats."  
>"Huh?"<br>"That was a joke."  
>"Oh. That wasn't funny, mother."<br>"Neither are you. Don't call me that. Anyway, yes, he found the snowwoman, he thought, but she seemed different. Instead of a lopsided blob of snow that happened to look sort of like a woman, she had an hourglass figure. The fur coat was wrapped snugly around her, with the hood covering her hair, so that all that James could see of her was her face- a pale, fair face, with dark eyes and frightfully red lips. For a moment, James thought she was a vampire. But then the woman spoke to him in a kind, caring voice.  
>" 'James," she said gently, 'I have been waiting for you.'<br>"James decided that she couldn't be a vampire because she didn't have a Transylvanian accent. He took a few tentative steps forward.  
>" 'Come to me, James!' The woman said. 'Come to me! Stay with me! What is left for you in your old life? Come, James! Come!'<br>"Growlie howled with apprehension-"  
>"I thought you said the Growlithe was frozen!"<br>"Did I? Oh, darn, you're right. Blast, I'll have to edit that… anyway, James walked toward the woman as though enchanted. All he saw were her eyes like obsidian, her fair face, and her bright lips. When he was close enough, the woman pulled him in a tight hug and kissed him on the cheek.  
>"Suddenly James felt as though he had been thrown into an icy lake. He gasped from the cold and shivered violently, trying to rip himself out of this scary woman's arms.<br>"But the woman simply kissed him again, and this time, James did not feel cold- not even the natural cold of the snow around him. But he didn't feel warm; he felt as though he could no longer detect temperature. He swayed to one side, a little stunned.  
>" 'Come with me,' the woman repeated. 'Come with me and you will lack nothing. Any luxury you desire can be yours. I will keep you, I will help you… I will <em>love <em>you, James.'  
>"James looked into her eyes, his green eyes meeting her black ones, and he nodded.<br>"In a flurry of snowflakes, James and the woman vanished.  
>"Growlie, <em>who had worked to free himself from the ice and had finally succeeded<em>, howled with sorrow."  
>"People don't just disappear in a flurry of snowflakes, mommy."<br>"Wow, you have, like, no willing suspension of disbelief whatsoever. Either that or your head has grown to the size of a watermelon over the Growlie-encased-in-ice incident. Either way, shut up. And don't call me that.  
>"James' parents were, well, less than distraught. In fact, they didn't even care about James' disappearance until a week later, when they realized that company was coming and they didn't have James to dress up and show off. Nearly frantic, they remembered that little peasant girl down the street- what was her name? Kiki? Beatrice? - and they decided they would take her in as their own child.<br>"So they headed down the street in their visiting-peasants costume- the plainest clothes they could stand to have in their closets; a plain white dress (made of fine cloth and with a fancy cut) for the missus, a cheap (900 dollar) suit for the mister. Despite the fact that they thought these clothes hideously cheap, they were still terrified. What if this little girl turned out to be a screaming brat who _tore people's clothing? _It was too terrible to think about. So they approached the house with great caution.  
>"Jessie was not in the house at the time. She was outside. She hadn't had any cause to worry over James, because it was not unusual for James to not show up for a week, and she hadn't given any credence to James' claim that his mother would kill him. So she was just playing around in the snow, feeling lonely and sorry for herself, when Growlie came running up to her. Because the Pokémon had been mostly James', she almost didn't recognize it or remember it, but it came back to her quickly. It puzzled her why the Growlithe was so upset.<br>"Meanwhile, James' parents had reached Jessie's house and were talking with Jessie's grandmother. Despite how much the child despised her, Jessie's grandmother really did love her and did not want to give her away, or sell her, but while she was good at arguing with her granddaughter, she was bad at arguing with most other people. Hoping the strong will of the child could save her, she said that she really could only leave this choice up to the girl and called for Jessie to come inside.  
>"Jessie told Growlie to stay put, she would come back for him soon enough, and she ran inside. Upon which her grandmother told her that these two fine people had come to adopt her, and she would do well to accept the offer. Naturally, this made Jessie despise the idea with all her being. She screamed, kicked, broke things, but in the end, her terrible temper and her grandmother's reverse psychology had no effect on James' parents, who were convinced that as soon as the girl saw all the beautiful clothes awaiting her, she would become docile as a lamb, for who didn't like clothes?<br>"Jessie didn't, that's who. After she destroyed three expensive dresses, not to mention the valuable fragile items that decorated their house, James' parents locked Jessie in the basement until she could behave better."  
>"Do James' parents have names?"<br>"That was certainly an abrupt question… uh, yes, they did. Everyone has names."  
>"Then what were they?"<br>"I don't know."  
>"Why can't you just name them?"<br>"I… don't know their names already! Just… be quiet and listen to the story!  
>"The basement was a dark and scary place. Only a little window in one wall, near the ceiling, let the weak late winter light shine through and cast creepy shadows on the wall. There were spider webs in every convenient corner- convenient for the spiders that is, not for little girls who did not like spiders. Jessie wondered vaguely if there might be bats.<br>"But Jessie was not a girl easily frightened. She simply found a brick and several boxes. She hurled the brick through the window, climbed on the boxes, and climbed out the window to freedom. She ran back to her house, where Growlie, true to form, was waiting obediently for her.  
>" 'Growlie,' Jessie said, 'something has happened to James.' She reflected on James' prediction that his mom would kill him, but then decided it couldn't be related. 'I need you to sniff for James and find him.'<br>"Growlie first led Jessie to where he had last seen James, then put his nose to the ground and followed the trail. They came to a river that had not yet frozen. Jessie took some branches off the ground and tied them together with some handy twine she had in her pocket, and then she put the makeshift raft in the water and jumped on top.  
>"Needless to say, the raft broke and she was left floundering in the icy water. Growlie, disregarding its type weakness to water, leapt in and held her head above water as they were dragged downstream.<br>"After they floated a little ways, they were fished out by a kind looking but terribly wrinkled old woman. The woman took them to her house to warm them up."  
>"Did she have a name?"<br>"Jessie never learned her name, and you will see why in a moment.  
>"The woman's house was this lovely little one story building. It was small, but beautifully furnished and cozy. It had a bathroom with hot water, so the woman drew Jessie a bath while Jessie drank hot chocolate. But the water she put in the bathtub was from the Pool of Forgetting."<br>"What's the Pool of Forgetting, mommy?"  
>"It's just an obscure reference to Greek mythology. Don't call me that. When Jessie bathed in the water, her memory became foggy. The woman, meanwhile, stood by Jessie's tub, washing Jessie's long red hair-"<br>"Like yours, mommy?"  
>"DON'T CALL ME THAT! Anyway, while she washed Jessie's hair she began to call Jessie her 'dearest daughter' and say other things that convinced Jessie she was the daughter of this old woman, and that she had lived here all her life, and that nothing exciting had ever happened over the course of her miserable existence.<br>"This disappointed Jessie very much, and she was also very disappointed in herself for failing to make some excitement of her own. The woman seemed to realized this, so she added some lavender oil to the bathwater- enchanted lavender oil that would make Jessie… subdued, let's say. Jessie felt like she were living in a fog, always trying to remember something important, with a vague feeling that there was more to life than embroidering with her mother, but unsure what could possibly_ be _more important. It was like she had a personality crisis.  
>"The old woman dumped Growlie out into the snow to fend for himself, fearing that he could bring back the child's memories. And so Jessie lived in her foggy world for far too long.<br>"But we shall leave her there for a moment. Now we will tell what happened to James.  
>"James found himself whisked away to a palace of ice. It was carved like a diamond, with the various planes of ice reflecting the light in a rainbow of colors. As for the light, it came from glowing crystals mounted in the wall. The lights were all different colors- yellow, blue, white, purple, green, gray- but they tended to be color-coordinated, so that each room had lights of only one color. As for the furniture, it was solid blocks of ice. Everything was carved with ornate patterns and was very pretty, but there was nothing made of cloth. The beds were little more than slabs of ice with a lot of gaudy carving that looked like fancy pillars and a cloth canopy and fancy pillows and a cozy bedspread, but in reality it was only cold, hard ice. Not a living thing stirred within this frozen palace, save for the mysterious woman and James.<br>" 'You have complete freedom to go wherever you wish and do whatever you please,' the mysterious woman said. 'You may indulge in whatever delights you.'  
>"There were indeed many delightful things in the palace- books, toys, board games, everything a child could want- all made of ice."<br>"How do you make books out of ice, mommy?"  
>"Only the cover was made out of ice. Don't call me that.<br>"But after a while, James became very lonely. The icy woman never did anything with him; she merely watched him, or ignored him altogether.  
>" 'I'd like some friends, please,' James said one day, sure the woman would not deny his request.<br>"She responded by zapping his icy toys, and they began to move. James was thrilled at first, and played with his toys for many an hour- but they were like animals, and not like people. James longed for someone to talk to, and he took to wandering throughout the halls listlessly, hoping to find some exciting room.  
>"After a while, he found a room with a lot of different statues in it. Boredom had led him to have a destructive streak, so he decided to try pulling the arms off the statues. But most had arms that were very solid. When he came to a statue of a beautiful faerie, he pulled that arm- and the arm lifted like a lever. A long rectangle in the center of the room fell away into a set of steps, Harry-Potter-escque. James descended into a room unlike any in the palace. The walls were not made of ice, but of normal wood. The torches, while still glowing crystals like the lights in the palace, glowed with a natural orange-red flame color. The hall led to a room filled with bottles of mysterious liquids in all colors, and some bottles that were simply empty. There were crystals similar to the light-giving crystals, but these did not glow and were broken in half. There were Bunsen burners that had flames of eerie colors, like purple and green, which should not have existed. By the wall, looking out of place, was a stone- not ice- statue, another statue of a faerie, and a very beautiful one at that. She had dark hair flowing down her back, a dress with a flaming pattern on it, and a determined look in her eye. Her hands were held up, one on each side of her, and she was holding a stone flame in each one. James wondered what the statue was doing here- it did not fit with anything he had ever seen in the ice palace. But then, that was probably why it was down here. There was a door leading out of this room, and James went to look.<br>He found a small room that was dominated by a fountain. Well, I say fountain, but it was more that a huge waterfall poured into an ivory basin. James had no idea why the water didn't overflow the basin; it must have been magical, or else there was no way the basin could hold all that water.  
>" 'Hey!' A little bossy voice shouted. 'Hey you in the purple!'<br>" 'James turned, a little surprised. 'You mean me?' He asked.  
>" 'No, I'm talking to the waterfall,' the Meowth snapped. 'Who do you think I'm talking to?'<br>"James saw a small white Meowth in an iron cage, suspended from a chain in the ceiling.  
>" 'Who are you?' He asked.<br>" 'I'm the obligatory talking cat,' the Meowth replied. 'What's it to ya?'  
>"James blinked, a little puzzled. 'You're the what?'<br>" 'Never mind. Look, kid, I'm kinda in a jam here, so if you don't mind opening the cage and setting me free, I'll try to do you a favor, okay kid?'  
>" 'Um… sure,' said James, opening the lock on the cage.<br>"Suddenly the walls began glowing red and a loud noise blared from nowhere.  
>" 'Oh, darn,' the Meowth said. 'Better run before you get in trouble with the Snow Queen.'<br>" 'Is that the woman who lives here?' James asked.  
>" 'Yes, now don't ask stupid questions and RUN!' The Meowth scampered off through the door James had entered by.<br>"James raced as fast as he could, and soon found himself in the room with the statues again. The icy walls were also pulsating red light; it was terribly creepy. James pushed the arm of the statue back and the floor closed up. Then he ran into his room and started playing with his toys.  
>"After a while, the Snow Queen entered his room. 'Have you seen a Meowth scamper past, by any chance?' She asked, her voice even more icy than usual.<br>" 'Uh, Meowth? Here? In this dead place? No, of course not! Why would I have seen a Meowth?' James stammered.  
>"The Snow Queen left James. James was left sitting on the floor, and though he did not feel any cold, he shivered. Things had just gotten a little more dangerous.<br>"Growlie had decided to follow James' scent trail, and he and Meowth met halfway between the two prisons. Neither seemed-"  
>"Mommy?"<br>"Don't call me that!"  
>"But, mommy, if James was teleported to the castle, how did Growlie follow the scent trail?"<br>"Hah! I already have a solution to that, so there! Anyway, neither Growlie nor Meowth-"  
>"You didn't answer the question, mommy. And you failed to tell me not to call you that."<br>"Well, don't call me that! And be patient! I'll explain later!  
>"Neither Growlie nor Meowth seemed surprised to see each other.<br>" 'Oh, hiya, Growlie. How's the girl?' Meowth asked.  
>"Growlie barked a few times.<br>" 'Pfft. Seems like more trouble than she's worth… but she'd probably listen to me.'  
>"Growlie barked a few times.<br>" 'He's okay… a little stupid, but then humans always are. I miss the faeries… but if he's The Chosen One I suppose I have to put up with him.'  
>"Growlie barked a few times.<br>" 'You think so? Okay then, we'll trade places for a while and see how it works out.'  
>"Meowth and Growlie shook paws, and each continued in the direction they had been heading in.<br>"By the time Meowth reached Jessie's current home, it was springtime. The garden was in full bloom, and the snow that had been there was nothing more than a memory.  
>"It was not hard for Meowth to infiltrate the house. He was a professional thief. He found Jessie sitting in the garden, doing embroidery and looking bored out of her mind and very confused. Meowth waited until the old woman went inside to get some lemonade, and then made his move, landing in a cat fashion in the middle of the garden.<br>" 'Yo,' he said.  
>"Jessie was a little delighted by the cat's sudden appearance. 'Who are you?'<br>" 'I am Dracono Gurello Meowth the 2nd, but you may call me Meowth. I'm here to save you.'  
>" 'Do I need saving?' Jessie asked, a little confused. She stabbed herself with the needle.<br>" 'Well, yeah. I'm here to save you from your miserable life of boredom and take you home to your mother.'  
>" 'My mother's inside,' said Jessie, but she didn't sound convinced.<br>" 'Come on! Don't you want to have a little adventure?'  
>" 'Well… but mommy said never to talk to strangers. How do I know you're telling the truth?'<br>"Meowth thought about this for a moment.  
>" 'Well… Hey! Where'd all the roses go?'<br>"For you see, the old woman, through dark arts, had discovered the love Jessie and James had had for the roses, and feared that seeing them would bring back the child's memory. So she had kept the roses in the garden from growing that year. Nor were these fears ungrounded.  
>" 'A rose?' said Jessie. 'I always felt there was some flower I really loved, and that I was always looking for, but I wasn't sure what. Could it be a rose?'<br>" 'Probably. You're so much like your mother…' Meowth found the bush he was looking for. 'Hah! This is a rose bush, but the flowers are all gone for some reason… hey, Jessie!'  
>" 'What?' Jessie asked, without stopping to wonder how Meowth knew her name.<br>" 'I need to do a bit of spell breaking. Poke your thumb on this thorn, will you?'  
>" 'What?' Jessie repeated. She had a very low pain tolerance. 'Why?'<br>" 'That would be way too complicated to explain right now, but poke your thumb on this thorn and sing.'  
>" 'Sing what?'<br>" 'The rose song… don't tell me you never learned it!'  
>" 'Uh, no… I guess I never-' but just then, Jessie remembered the song her grandmother had taught her one spring, the spring that she had met James. 'Actually, I just remembered. Okay, I'll try.' She pressed her thumb to a thorn and began to sing, 'Rose, rose, bloom for me, bloom for me and all to see.'<br>"Suddenly, at the tips of all the branches, buds grew, petals opened, and roses were revealed, all in fast motion. They were a deep, glorious red, and their petals were streaked slightly with sunset orange.  
>"Jessie gasped, as all of a sudden her memories were restored to her.<br>" 'Thatagirl!' Meowth said. 'Now come on! We have to rescue James!'  
>"They escaped back over the garden fence and made their way to the ice palace.<br>"Meanwhile, Growlie had followed James' scent, all along the river, to the very end of it. The river seemed to flow into a cave and vanish. Now came the part Growlie had been dreading. He took a deep breath, summoned all his courage, and dove in.  
>"The water was absolutely frigid. Growlie nearly drowned.<br>"Eventually, however, the waterfall spat him out into the basin James had seen, and Growlie dragged himself out, where he collapsed with exhaustion.  
>"Suddenly, he heard voices outside the room. He did his best to hide behind the basin, but it hurt for him to move.<br>" 'How many faeries did you haul in this time, Balthazar dearie?' the Snow Queen asked."  
>"Oh, sure, mommy. Let's just do a cross-over of Pokémon and Neopets at the same time. See if I care."<br>"DON'T CALL ME THAT!  
>" 'Only a handful, my lady,' the Lupe growled. 'They are few and far between. It seems that you are already in possession of most of them.'<br>" 'Good,' the Snow Queen purred. 'That's just the way I like it.'  
>"Their voices faded, and Growlie decided it was safe to sleep. Just to close his eyes for a few moments…<br>"Oops, speaking of eyes closing, it's midnight. Your real mom will kill me. Get in bed this instant, you little brat!"  
>"Aw, mommy!"<br>"Don't. Call. Me. That."

_End Part 1_


	2. Chapter 2

**Team Rocket and the Snow Queen**

**Part 2**

"Okay, my real mommy will be here in a few hours, so please read me the rest of the story mommy!"  
>"On one condition."<br>"What's that?"  
>"Don't call me mommy ever again."<br>"Aw, mommy!"  
>"All right, that's it; I'm not reading you the end. Ever."<br>"No! No! Oh… all right, mo- all right."  
>"Good. So, where were we?"<br>"Growlie was napping."  
>"Oh yes. So, the Meowth realized that speed was of the essence, so he took Jessie to a nearby village and asked the stable master to bring out 'the queen's steed'. The stable master brought Jessie a Rapidash unlike any she had ever seen. Its mane was of blue flame, and it had wings- flaming blue wings that otherwise looked like angels wings."<br>"There's no such thing, mommy."  
>"This is a story and I can do whatever I like. Just be glad I didn't use a Uni.<br>"The Uni- I mean the Rapidash flew Jessie over the fields at a rapid speed, and though it took Meowth weeks to travel from the ice palace to the old woman's house, they finished the journey in just a day, landing at the icy waterfall.  
>" 'This waterfall is really a portal through dimensional space,' Meowth explained. 'You have to dive in and let it carry you.'<br>" 'But I can't swim!' Jessie protested.  
>" 'You don't have to swim; the waterfall will carry you. Were you listening?'<br>" 'But I don't like the water!'  
>" 'I know you don't like the water, and there's a reason for that. But you can survive this, and I can't. I have to go in another way, but it's too small for you. You have to do this to rescue James.'<br>"That did it for Jessie. She perched at the brink of the water, took a deep breath, and dove in.  
>"I've already described what the journey is like, but for Jessie it was a nightmare. She couldn't breathe, she was going numb, she was blacking out, she was dying…<br>"Suddenly she was dragged out of the water by someone strong, someone huge, someone… furry.  
>" 'Look what I found, my lady,' a gruff voice said.<br>" 'Well, well,' a woman purred, 'a little drowned rat.'  
>"Jessie pried her eyes open and screamed- she was being held by an enormous purple Lupe!<br>" 'What should we do with her, my lady?' The Lupe asked.  
>"The woman tapped her chin a bit. 'Let me think… how about we deal with that little puppy first? Make an example?'<br>" 'What-' Jessie attempted to ask, but the Lupe whapped her on the head. The Snow Queen crossed the room to the cage that used to hold Meowth and now held Growlie. She lifted the cage gently off the chain, ignoring the angry glares the Fire Pokémon was giving her.  
>" 'Let's thrown them into the Icy Lake,' the Snow Queen announced.<br>"Jessie and Growlie were carried into a huge room that looked like it held a swimming pool. But something seemed odd about the water; it was almost too transparent to look like water. Odder still, it was not frozen. The Snow Queen dipped her hand into the pool and sighed happily, then lifted her hand out. To Jessie's surprise, the drops of water turned into little whisps that vanished, leaving the queen's hand dry.  
>" 'You see,' the Snow Queen said, 'There are more liquids besides water. Some liquids can keep from freezing at drastically low temperatures. In fact, the liquid in this pool needs to be kept at a constant temperature of about -300 degrees Fahrenheit, just to stay liquid! As you can see, when I draw liquid out of the pool, it turns back into a gas. All right, kids, that's the end of today's chemistry class. Now to take a little field trip.'<br>" '_What are you doing?_' a familiar voice cried out. Everyone whirled around to see James standing there, horrified.  
>"Jessie decided to take this opportunity to set James straight. 'James! Stop this crazy woman!' she cried.<br>" 'You stay out of this,' The Snow Queen snarled. 'You are a favorite of mine for now. Don't push it.'  
>" 'But that girl is my friend!' James dashed forward.<br>" 'All right, you asked for it,' the Snow Queen snarled, dropping Growlie's cage and seizing James. Before James could do anything, she planted a kiss smack on his forehead. Being kissed is an awful enough fate under normal circumstances, but the Snow Queen's kisses, as I have already indicated, were special. This time, the kiss froze not his nerves, but his heart. He swayed a little, then stood steady, a completely blank look in his eyes.  
>" 'What did you do to him?' Jessie demanded.<br>" 'Nothing,' the Snow Queen smiled, 'nothing you need concern yourself about.'  
>" 'You… you… heartless woman!' Jessie cried, distressed that she didn't know any swear words."<br>"She could have used censored or censored, mummy."  
>"You little censored! Where did you ever learn such language? And don't call me that! I thought I told you that if you called me that I would stop reading!"<br>"No, you said that if I called you _mommy_ you would stop reading. I called you _mummy_. Like the Egyptians."  
>"That has to be the weirdest stereotype I have ever heard… but as I was saying…<br>" 'You… you… heartless woman!' Jessie cried, distressed that she didn't know any swear words.  
>" 'Dear, dear,' the Snow Queen replied, 'How dare you talk to your mother that way?'<br>"She lowered her hood, revealing for the first time her beautiful, deep red hair. Jessie gasped. It was true: the dark red color exactly matched her own hair, and the eyes matched her eyes, and the skin color matched her skin color…  
>" 'Oh, look how similar we are,' the Snow Queen purred. 'Are you sure we aren't related? Oh wait a moment… we are! Ha ha, silly me, right?'<br>"Jessie sat down by the icy lake, stunned.  
>" 'Come, my dear,' the Snow Queen purred, holding out her hand. 'Now that I have you, I want nothing. I had fun playing with this silly child for a while…' she shoved James roughly forward, and he collapsed on the floor as helpless as a doll, 'but now I grow weary of him. Throwing him into the icy lake would be fun, don't you think, daughter dearest?<br>"Jessie snapped out of her trance. 'G-Growlie,' she commanded, 'Attack her!'  
>"The Snow Queen stepped out of the way as the flames roared towards her, and merely melted a little. But the flames soared into the icy lake.<br>"I don't expect you to know this, and Jessie certainly didn't know this, at least not at the time, but -300 degrees Fahrenheit is approximately the freezing point of oxygen. And I don't expect an ignorant brat like you to know _this_ either, but oxygen ignites a lot more readily than water. Much more readily. In short order, the icy lake turned into a flaming lake.  
>"The Snow Queen screamed and lunged toward Jessie, about to push her in, but James, who had thawed out in the heat, screamed 'No!' and dove forward, showing the Snow Queen into the flames. The flames were especially hot from all the oxygen they were getting, and so it took only seconds for the Snow Queen to turn to water vapor… and James to turn into ash."<br>"That's me!"  
>"What?"<br>"I'm Ash!"  
>"YOU RUINED THE DRAMATIC DEATH SCENE! YOU WILL DIE!"<br>The woman chased Ash around the house for a few minutes before they collapsed with exhaustion and the woman forgot what she had been angry about, and so she continued the story.  
>"Once again, Jessie sat by the side of the now-empty pool, too shocked to move."<br>"Why was it empty?"  
>"Because all the oxygen had burned up and the fire could no longer survive. Oxygen does not burn for very long."<br>"What about Balthazar?"  
>"Er, what? Oh, him, uh… he'd left. Or something."<br>"He has really lousy timing."  
>"Tell me about it. Anyway, the Meowth then joined Jessie by the side of the pool.<br>" 'What happened?' He asked. Jessie was too distraught to answer, but Growlie filled him in.  
>" 'Well, congratulations!' Meowth said, seizing Jessie's hand and shaking it.<br>" 'Con-con-_what?_' Jessie said, shocked.  
>" 'You have fulfilled the prophecy and have proved yourself the true daughter of the Fire Queen.'<br>" 'B-but I thought…'  
>" 'She was lying. Duh. Anybody can claim to be somebody's mother, but that doesn't make it true.'<br>" 'But… wait, there was a prophecy? And I'm a Fire Princess?'  
>" 'Sort of. The prophecy goes like this: <em>The princess will return to defeat the Queen of Ice and liberate her captive people from their new employment as lights. The lake of ice will become the lake of fire, and a rich human from whom nothing was ever asked will pay the ultimate price.<em>'  
>" 'Why didn't you tell me about the prophecy sooner?'<br>" 'Because you probably wouldn't have liked the line at the end. You don't, do you?'  
>" 'No! Of course not!'<br>" 'There you go. Oh, actually, technically the line at the end is "_And then a kiss shall melt the ice," _but that's not really important..."  
>" 'But… but…' Jessie was on the verge of tears and she hated crying. 'But… why did James… why did he have to…'<br>"Meowth sighed heavily. 'You must have picked up some sentimentality from that human boy. But your job isn't done.'  
>" 'What now?' Jessie demanded, whirling around. 'Is there some Darkest Faerie I have to defeat or something?'<br>" 'No, it's just the remaining part of the prophecy: _she will liberate her captive people from their new employment as lights._ You see the lights in these walls? Captive faeries, every one of them. You need to melt the ice and free them. And your mom is in the castle basement. You need to free her too. I trust you know how to do this?'  
>" 'Um… not really.'<br>" 'Just melt the ice. Place your hands on them and sing the warmth spell. You _do _know the warmth spell, don't you?'  
>"Much to Jessie's surprise, she discovered that she did. Shortly, the room was filled with faeries, of all the elements except fire- water, earth, air, light and dark.<br>" 'The fire faeries are in the basement,' Meowth told her, so they went downstairs and freed all those faeries too.  
>" 'Wonderful,' said Meowth, clapping his paws. 'Now we have enough faeries to do a revival spell! I trust you know that song, too?' He asked Jessie.<br>"All the faeries surrounded the beautiful statue James had been admiring and chanted the revival song. The statue started to glow… but then the glow faded.  
>" 'What happened?' All the faeries asked each other.<br>" 'Hey, Jessie!' Meowth snapped. 'You need to put some more enthusiasm into your singing or it won't work!'  
>" 'I can't be enthusiastic!' Jessie snapped. 'James is dead! Don't you have some kind of resurrection song or something?'<br>"The faeries looked at each other guiltily. 'We don't have any such song, my lady,' a fire faerie said apologetically.  
>" 'Then… then I will make one up!' Jessie dashed up the stairs, back to the not-so-icy no-longer-a-lake, and stood in front of the ashes. She began to dance around, waving her arms in random patterns, singing, 'I summon the power of Comic Book Death! By the powers of Superman, Batman and Captain America, by the powers of Bucky, Jean Grey and the second Robin, by the powers of Resurrection Man, Radioactive Man, and Fallout Boy, come back, James! Come back to me!' She whirled around and glared at the faeries surrounding her. 'Well? What are you waiting for? Sing with me!'<br>"The faeries, looking very embarrassed, sang along. Jessie threw herself into the dance, not caring how silly she looked. But finally, she stopped and stared at the ash pile. Nothing had happened. Nothing at all.  
>" 'It-it didn't work!' Jessie wailed.<br>" 'What didn't work?' James asked.  
>" 'Augh! JAAAAAMES!' Jessie tackled him. 'Don't <em>do <em>that to me!'  
>" 'Don't do what?' James asked.<br>" 'Never mind,' said Jessie. 'Okay, now let's go save that petrified faerie who happens to be my mother!'  
>"All the faeries surrounded the statue, ready to chant. James joined the circle next to Jessie.<br>" 'Um, no," Meowth said. 'Not gonna work, human boy. Only faeries are allowed in the faerie ring.'  
>" 'But-but- but you aren't a faerie!' James said.<br>" 'No, but I'm a faerie creature.'  
>" 'But Jessie isn't a faerie!'<br>" 'Actually, she is. You're just too dense to figure that out on your own. Go sit in a corner.'  
>" 'Hey!' Jessie said. 'My friend can stay wherever he wants!' she gripped James' arm tight.<br>" 'Sorry, my lady, but if James is here the spell won't work.' Meowth tore Jessie and James apart.  
>"James went and sat on a bench , moping.<br>"The faeries, Jessie, and Meowth began chanting and hoping about.  
>"But Meowth had forgotten one of the most potent powers of the Snow Queen: she could freeze not just water, not just air, not just hearts, not just faeries in stone or ice, but she could freeze <em>time<em>. It was this ability that allowed her to 'teleport' when in reality, she simply froze time and relocated.  
>"See, I did explain how Growlie could follow the scent of a teleportation. So there.<br>"So it was that all the faeries, Jessie, and Meowth ceased to chant and dance and stood still, frozen as statues. Everything else froze, also: The bubbling beakers, the drafty air, the waterfall in the nearby room... everything had stopped moving entirely, except 3 creatures.  
>"One was, of course, the Snow Queen. Laughing manically, she scooped up the frozen form of Jessie in her arms, then picked up Meowth for good measure.<br>"Another was Balthazar, who picked up the statue that the faeries had been dancing around.  
>"And the last one was-"<br>"James!"  
>"How did you guess?"<br>"It was just a little bit obvious."  
>"Whatev. Anyway, James realized that they had not realized that he was still mobile. In fact, they didn't even acknowledge his existence. He was kind of far off, and of course they weren't looking for him because they thought he was dead.<br>"James had no idea what he should do, but he followed the Snow Queen and Balthazar anyway.  
>" 'This palace is so nice,' the Snow Queen mused, 'and I hate to abandon it, but it really can't be helped. This time we'll take the queen, the brat, and the talking cat somewhere where no one will ever find them.'<br>"Balthazar rolled his eyes. 'Uh, your majesty, wouldn't it be simpler to just kill them right now?'  
>" 'Maybe,' the Snow Queen admitted, 'but this is a kids story.'"<br>"She didn't really say that, did she?"  
>"No, but I'm not going to tell you what she really said because we're in a kids story too. Or rather, a K+ story."<br>"Huh?"  
>"Never mind, dearie.<br>"James knew he needed to do something to stop the Snow Queen, but what?"  
>"Is this related to the last line of the prophecy?" The annoying boy asked.<br>"Actually, yes. James remembered the last line of the prophecy-"  
>"But he was <em>dead<em> at the time it was mentioned!"  
>"Oh, I don't know how he knew about it! Maybe Jessie or Meowth mentioned it to him after he came back to life! But anyways, he remembered it, so as he was following the Snow Queen around, the Snow Queen stopped to open a door and set Jessie down to do it... and James stole up, and was about to kiss Jessie-"<br>"Eew!"  
>"Exactly. James felt the same way, since he was a young boy and all, and he hesitated just long enough, that the Snow Queen, who is not such a slow door-opener, noticed him and grabbed him, snarling and yanking him up by the collar. 'You little rat! I thought you were dead!'<br>"And in that split second, James realized what he must do. He grabbed the queen's collar, pulled himself a bit higher, and pecked the queen on the cheek before he could stop himself.  
>"The Snow Queen's scream shook the palace as she crumbled into tiny shards of ice.<br>"Balthazar wisely realized he should get lost before the palace was full of vengeful faeries, so he dropped the statue and left. Time unfroze, the faeries completed their dance, and the statue turned into Jessie's mother, the Fire Faerie Queen, yada yada... All right, so it isn't exactly finished. But you get the picture."  
>"Crazy story, Mommmy."<br>"I said not to call me that!"  
>"Mommy?"<br>"Don't call me that."  
>"The story wasn't about you and Uncle James, was it?"<br>"Why is it you call me Mommy and call my husband Uncle James?"  
>"You avoided the question-"<br>The doorbell rang.  
>"Oh, I think that's your real mother. Let me get that."<br>Jessie stood up and moved to the door.  
>"Mrs. Ketchum! So glad you're back!"<br>"All the more so because I can now take my son off of your hands, correct?"  
>"You know me too well. All right, Ash, time to go home!"<br>"Aw, man!"  
>And Jessie, queen of the Fire Faeries, watched Ash and his mother fly home.<p>

**The End.**


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